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Profile for xOxnikitaxOx (offline- last on: Mar 20, 14)
Rating (go rate me)
Name *smiley facey*
Age 22
Webcam? yes
Taken? Already has a sexy lover!
Country United States
State Arkansas
City ermm..yeah.
About Me
This is my me. There are many like it, but this one is mine. Your me may vary. Terms and conditions apply.

(Color and texture may differ from illustration. No purchase necessary. Warning: may spout poetry. In case of accidental ingestion, consult a physician even if you feel well. Manufacturer's warranty does not include sanity. Accessories sold separately. This profile does not represent a solicitation to buy or sell any security. Not recommended for children under 12 months. Danger: objects on screen may appear funnier than they actually are. E&OE.)

By all means send me a message, instant or otherwise, actually you can send me a message for any reason you like, and you don't even have to explain why you did it. - I'll reply to just about anything. There is absolutely no obligation, and no salesperson will call. I'd have sent you a message myself already, but I probably just didn't want to intrude. I tend not to message or IM people out of the blue very often. I spend most of my time reading and writing journals.

Also, I don't get enough IMs from creepy weirdos. Everyone else on this site is constantly complaining about this, and I'm starting to feel left out.

I am, in fact, happily in love with Michael Banda, thus, I'm only here looking for friends and conversation. So please don't send me requests for badly-spelled, badly-punctuated cybersex. (As I only do it in complete, syntactically correct sentences, obviously.)

(If you are a scammer/spammer, then I will string you along just long enough to obtain concrete proof of your guilt and then cut you off and inform the authorities. Call it a hobby.)

What am I doing here? I don't know, I'm an idiot grinlol
My Apps
I try very hard to be inconspicuous in every way. Best case, no-one notices anything about me at all. Living as I do in Arkansas, I guess the first thing most people spot is that I have a bit of an accent. I'm also very often, but by no means always, overdressed. Or sometimes underdressed. Definitely the wrong amount of dressed. People treat you better if you're dressed smartly, I discovered. (Suckers!)

Like a linguistic MacGyver, I can fashion a fully-functional analogy out of just about anything that happens to be lying around.
Turn Ons
NEWS FLASH - We interrupt your profile browsing to alert you to a member you might be interested!

Now accepting reservations for make-outs. (Just kidding.) (Kinda.)

Pretty words with no meaning other than the moment they were spawned from.

Shifting people's consciousness so they experience greater fulfillment in their lives, including multiple orgasms.

I spend most of my time thinking about the world works, and why, and how things are connected, and whether those connections are things in their own right. Whether it's possible to make an actual joke from the concept of Plato spinning in his grave. (Update: I don't think it is.) Why so many people on this site waste an adjective describing themselves as "hungry" instead of just going and making a sandwich. Whether there exist three words or short phrases A, B and C in the English language such that all six pairwise combinations A-B, B-C, C-A, B-A, C-B and A-C are also words or short phrases in the English language (answers on a postcard). How ornate a 5"x3" piece of paper has to be before someone in California will start using it as currency. A girl with a bird on her head. Why I know what typewriter ribbon tastes like. Whether stack-based computer architectures might make a comeback in low-power embedded systems. Whether I turned the oven off. Why "extrospective" is not a word. Why so many of my best matches on this site are ten years older than me. How the Church of Scientology could be dismantled.Why otherwise intelligent and rational people fail to comprehend thermostats. Whether I should wear a hat. Turning people's names into cryptic crossword clues. And doodling plots and characters and incidents and trivia for the novels I'm never going to get around to writing. (Actually, I did get around to starting one of them. It's going better than I expected.)

And yes, I am naked in my default picture.

Turn Offs
Want bang bucks? I don't need them.

I don't sell crack, I'm a prostitute.

I came here to chat, not get HIV.

Your face is a bit too Myspace for my taste.

Nothing spoils the taste of peanut butter like unrequited love.

Faith without doubt leads to moral arrogance, the eternal pratfall of the religiously convinced.

Here's to forever and never, the two stupidest words in existence.

Attention is never a good thing, as any other accident-prone klutz would agree. No one wants a spotlight when they're likely to fall on their face.

Basically, if your idea of a good time is sitting around on your beanbag chair and watching Law and Order SVU repeats. then you might want to move your hand slowly away from the "send mail" button. Otherwise, give it your best shot! Let's see what you're made of.

And dont even get me started on cell phones.... I have the worst one known to man. Its soul purpose is to torment me with illogical things that only a phone i own would do.
What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?

Your life will return after these messages.

Screwing my life up, one idiotic sentence at a time.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit is...My family, while they are unquestionably an odd bunch of people, they do not mean the world to me. I do not particularly enjoy spending time with them. I rarely know where in the world they are. And this doesn't bother me in the slightest.

If you even bothered reading this far, please let me know.

Favorite Things
TV Show Not fanatical about film nowadays. Or TV, apart from Family Guy and the occasional cartoon. I'll watch whatever, on the proviso that I can tear it to shreds afterwards.
Movies On a typical Friday night I'm in bed by 12pm.

(People seem to think this is supposed to be a flippant conversation-starter. It's not. It's the truth.)

I am, for want of a better word, domesticated.
Music I enjoy (i.e. non-popular) music. I play the piano awfully, the guitar badly, and the violin like a five-year-old wearing rubber gloves.

I think I took this section too literally.
Book Foods... macaroni. Particularly the kind that involves cheese. (I eat other stuff as well, naturally. Most of it includes garlic in some form. I only noticed this one day because I ran out of garlic, and discovered I couldn't cook anything. (It was horrible.)
Quote "So I just got out of rehab."
So maybe you have some personal problems you've been working on. Perhaps you've been in therapy since you were 13 years old. Whatever the case may be, it's probably best not to introduce your new romantic interest to your BIG, SCARY ISSUES, at least not yet. Everybody has problems big and small, but the first date is more about showing off your personality, not painting yourself as a psychotic addict (even if you are, just a smidge). Note: If you are seriously in the midst of a personal crisis, and that includes excessive drug use and/or major psychological treatment, not to be all judgey, but you probably shouldn't be on a date right now.
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